On This Day, Five Years Ago...

...I went on a date that changed my life.  My divorce story is sorta interesting...only because it involves two separations and a major move caused by a reconciliation that, in hindsight, was just nuts.  Anyway, a dear friend of mine immediately suggested that I get on a dating website.  I absolutely recoiled at the idea, but did it anyway.  Within a hot minute, I had 527,890 emails from random men in my local area.  I mean...it was like a second job keeping up with all of it and I went on a date with this one guy who had piercing blue eyes and they freaked me out to the point that I struggled to keep eye contact with him.  He later dissed me on date #2 stating that he didn't like that I couldn't keep eye contact (No, I am not making this up).  The second date I went on was the Monday that is generally taken off in honor of July 4th whether it's July 4th or not.  We went to lunch (I can't remember where) and then we went to get ice cream (which was awesome because I didn't like the flavor I got so I took his because I liked it better and he didn't complain).  After that, we went to a local bar and played darts.  That was some flirty dart playing, for sure.  And at the end of the date, he leaned in for a kiss and I was like, "Uhhh...what're you doing?" 

Kissing someone else after you've been kissing the same person for 10 years is just plain weird.  Kissing, in general, is weird.  I mean who thought it was a great idea to smush together these two things that smell horrible in the morning, that you pack food into all day and that you puke out of when you get sick?  Yeah...nice visual, I know (it's part of the storytelling ability).  Kissing, for all intent and purpose, is gross.  Kissing someone you hardly know...even grosser...mainly because you don't know their hygiene habits just yet and you also don't know the last time they puked.  Coulda been yesterday.

Anyway, a chicken peck ensued and we went out a few days later again and then, for 13 more months after that.  Oh, but wait...how did this change my life forever?  To make a long story short, read the next story.